Newsroom · PlanWerk Wire
News from PlanWerk.Approved by PlanWerk.
Press releases, statements and announcements from the resource capacity platform that has, so far, raised more than it has shipped.
$502M Raised across four rounds
0 Products launched
1 Acquisition. Alex informed: pending
All Acquisitions Company Funding Statements
Showing all 11 releases
Latest · 19 October 2026
Statements Perfect score awarded. Tax position upgraded to AAA+. External scrutiny deemed duplicative.
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Score 100 / 100
Tax rating AAA+
Independence New chat
All releases
13 Oct 2026 Statements PlanWerk acknowledges return of unnamed individual to Melbourne His return to Melbourne was expected. His availability for a quick catch-up was not.
→ 24 Sep 2026 Statements PlanWerk issues open letter to owner of planwerk.com.au, declines to name them for legal reasons The company knows who they are. It is not saying.
→ 23 Sep 2026 Acquisitions PlanWerk announces intent to acquire Finance Manager, and to tell Alex Strategic combination positions PlanWerk for growth in the adjacent category of knowing where the money went.
→ 18 Sep 2026 Funding PlanWerk extends Series B with “B-Prime,” ahead of a Series C to fund a Series D The company describes its funding stack as “a stack, in the sense that it is stacked.”
→ 9 Sep 2026 Funding PlanWerk closes $410 million Series B at a $2.7 billion valuation Round led by Sunk Cost Capital. Company says proceeds will be used to “find out what this costs.”
→ 21 Aug 2026 Company PlanWerk University opens admissions, with a 100% pass rate and no external accrediting bodies One exam question. No wrong answers. Legally, still an exam.
→ 30 Jul 2026 Company PlanWerk publishes independent comparison, conducted by PlanWerk Company leads in strategic conviction. Competitors retain a narrow advantage in being available.
→ 14 Jul 2026 Company PlanWerk launches public status page, reports 99.98% narrative uptime All systems operational. Product availability remains theoretical.
→ 19 May 2026 Funding PlanWerk raises $28 million Series A, led by an investor who has read the deck twice The second read, the investor said, was “to check the first.”
→ 3 Mar 2026 Funding PlanWerk secures $4.2 million seed round, oversubscribed by Sebastian The founder had aimed to raise $700,000. The company describes the outcome as “a good problem to have.”
→ No releases in this category. We are as surprised as you are.
Press contact Sebastian Klett
Melbourne, Berlin, or an airport lounge. Response time: shortly, after the current podcast. Enquiries about the pot plant: the plant has declined to provide a statement.
About PlanWerk PlanWerk is the resource capacity platform that shows who’s free, who’s buried, and what your team can actually ship. Founded in Melbourne, and operating across Melbourne, Berlin, Zug and Grand Cayman, the company reports seventeen offices, allegedly. PlanWerk is not yet available. Early access opens soon and is 92% claimed.
Copy boilerplate In the media Medium “Radical Simplification: Inside a Garage.” One response. LinkedIn “Thrilled to announce.” 47 reactions, 44 from staff. CapacityCon 2025 “The correct amount of applause.” The speaker. Business Chief Magazine 100 Founders to Watch, online edition. Podcasts Eleven. Two are still in production. Press updates Be the first to hear what we announce next. Sebastian usually is.
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A satirical newsroom. All funding rounds, investors, valuations and legal proceedings are fictional. Finance Manager is real. Alex is real. The plant is real and has declined to comment.
